Fatuous love is common, more common than you think. You know that crush feeling, well It’s similar to that. Have you ever been absolutely infatuated with someone? I mean, just like a crush, have you ever had thoughts day in and day out about only this person?
If so, you’ve been a victim of fatuous love. This type of love isn’t really true love at all, and I will tell you why.
Are you going through this?
I remember many times feeling as though I was in love with someone. I could look into their eyes and imagine they were feeling the same thing. At certain times, this infatuation was returned to me, but the union ended quickly and there wasn’t any real intimacy. That’s what fatuous means when you talk about love. Are you infatuated?
Let’s see if you fit the mold
1. They seem perfect
I’m just going, to be honest, if you think everything your boyfriend or girlfriend does is perfect, then you’re probably infatuated with them. To you, they look perfect, act perfect, and you just cannot find a single flaw in their character.
You, my friend, are wearing rose-colored glasses…but it won’t last forever. If they seem perfect it’s not real love. You need to step back for a moment and actually analyze some of the things they’re doing. Maybe you will see the truth sooner than later.
2. You connect everything to them
When you’re not with them, you find ways to connect everything to them. If you’re having lunch with your girlfriends, and they’re talking about shoes, you’ll find a way to weave your boyfriend into the conversation.
Maybe you will tell your friends about a pair of shoes you own that he likes, or maybe about a pair of shoes he’s bought for you recently. Either way, no matter what you do or where you go, he will come up in the conversation.
3. You’re obsessive
Just like bringing your love interest up in all the conversations, you will also sit around and think about her and daydream. You might even try to memorize her schedule at work, or walk by her house. You do realize this is a form of stalking too, right?
Well, fatuous love will do things like this to you. The emotions will be so elevated, you won’t be able to stay away from them for long.
4. Your face hurts
Do you know why your face hurts? It’s from smiling constantly. When you enter into fatuous love, it’s new, it’s perfect, as I mentioned before, and it makes you overload on happy chemicals.
These chemicals in your brain keep you skipping around, singling, and smiling so much that your cheeks will really start to get sore. To others, you seem silly, most people at that, but to you, you’re just in a good mood.
5. You’re not using logic
When fatuous love takes over a person, all logic seems to be dashed out the door like a bucket of water. You can’t think straight doing ordinary things and you miss appointments. This infatuation has gotten you so wrapped up that you cannot see simple truths either.
Your love interest might cheat on you right in front of your eyes and you would find a way to justify what you saw. That’s just how bubble-headed you’ve become.
6. Your emotions are heightened
Not only are you happy all the time, but all your emotions are heightened. When you’re sad, you seem to be down more than usual, and guess what, the only one who can soothe your unhappiness is the love interest.
Fatuous love also heightens your anger and produces jealousy unrivaled by any other type of relationship. There’s just no idea what you might do over your girlfriend.
Oh, how we wish it were true…
I remember being in fatuous love before and feeling as though the entire planet revolved around him. He seemed perfect and seemed to do nothing wrong. I get how convincing this type of love can be. Unfortunately, most of the time fatuous love like this ends horribly.
Just as sudden as it started, it crumbles to dust in a short period of time. Now, I have seen some last for as long as a year, but then all the imperfections finished off the relationship and made each one hate the other. Real love will feel different.
I think real love is like meeting someone one day and having a nice conversation that ends well. Then again, seeing them later on and enjoying their company once more. Eventually, you might suggest a date or having coffee, which could lead to more and more as time goes on.
Real love takes it slow, as I have learned from my past mistakes, and real love usually lasts, at least much longer than fatuous love. So, look at your situation. Do you fit any of these categories? If so, it’s time you take a look at your relationship, and definitely ask your family and friends to give their opinion as well.
And when they do, you’re not allowed to get mad at them….just listen. Maybe, you will see the truth in your relationship and you will be able to tell if it’s true love or just a silly fatuous love.
I do wish you well.
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