The No-Contact Rule And How It Works After a Breakup

Alternative Medicine

After a breakup, you must avoid emotional complications. Even though it might seem harsh, the no-contact rule is the best way to move on.

The objective with a breakup is to move on and start over, right? Well, some people bounce back and forth between breaking up and getting back together, wasting time and increasing emotional pain. This shouldn’t happen. While not all breakups are permanent, there is still a need for alone time. You must have space to think about everything that’s happened in order to make that permanent decision.

The no-contact rule works

If you continue to have contact with an ex-partner immediately after the breakup, the separation may not stick. Or even worse, the breakup can turn ugly. The best thing to do after breaking up is to avoid each other for a certain amount of time.

This means no emails, texts, or calls. It definitely means no face-to-face contact, especially. Now, there is no certain number of days or weeks that can be set on no contact time. This varies depending on whether you have children together or if you are forced to work together. Factors change things.

However, utilizing this time helps you in so many ways to develop a sense of what’s going on and whether or not the relationship is toxic. There are few positive things that will happen if you keep that no-contact rule. Here’s how it works.

1. Find your forgotten happiness

Relationships are wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but being single is just as great. After a breakup, you want to find that treasure you used to have, a source of happiness outside of another person. When you’re with someone, so much of your happiness, unfortunately, is based on how well you get along.

By closing all contact after a breakup, you can rediscover the happiness you felt on your own. This means taking trips, remembering what you love to do, and reconnecting with friends who’ve drifted away.

2. Firmly establish values

Many people get into relationships for the wrong reasons, mainly looks, certain physiques, or money. When you create a no-contact rule after a breakup, you can re-establish your standards, values, and morals with no interference or influence from others. You get to decide what you want out of life, and what you want out of a future partner if applicable. This is one of the most important parts of cutting ties.

3. You realize truths

Some people use the no-contact rule as a form of manipulation, thinking they can get their significant other back by ignoring them. This is not why the rule is made. The truth is, avoiding your ex means strengthening yourself and realizing basic truths about who you are.

In this time period of no contact, you can learn many things about your weaknesses and what improvements need to be made. Don’t use this formula as a tool of control. Instead, use it to make improvements.

4. Silence is louder than words

Even though you may want to scream and ask your ex why they treated you in certain ways, it’s not a good idea. Simply walking away says so much more. Some people want their ex-partners to get angry and rant to make themselves look bad. Don’t fall for this trick.

The rule of not contacting your ex provides you the opportunity to stay silent, and retain your class. This silence is respectful and dignified. Eventually, it may be your ex that starts getting loud and causing a scene. Hold your ground, but hold it with dignity, and silence.

5. Finding reality again

When you’re in a relationship, sex and intimacy can cloud a person’s true personality. When you cut all contact, you will start to see who they really are, in case you don’t already know. You see intimate actions cause an increase in dopamine and other hormones which skew your reality.

In order to make sure the breakup sticks, you must stay away from your ex, especially in a purely sexual context. It’s not unheard of that some people still have intimate contact even after a divorce, and this complicates matters so much. Let them go and find your reality.

6. Gain your strength back

In some relationships, there are toxic partners, sometimes one or sometimes both. If you’ve finally broken free of a toxic individual, you must start getting your strength back. You see toxic people drain energy from those with good intentions, especially empathic people. By having no contact with your toxic ex you can grow stronger and stronger as the days go by. You will see why you felt so hopeless before and controlled by their outbursts.

Keep a level head

Keep a level head

Utilizing the no-contact rule will prove to be the best strategy in ending a relationship. After all, when you decide it’s not working, it’s time to move on. In the case that your relationship may be saved, this alone time will give each of you the space needed to properly sort things out. You cannot figure out what’s best for you when constantly fighting and not communicating. Sometimes, all it takes is learning to communicate while taking some time away from each other. It all depends on the situation.

I hope you can understand and use the no-contact rule in the right way. Remember to be strong and stand your ground at all times. Also, take care to be respectful and nice when doing so.

I wish you all the best.

References:

  1. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/
  2. https://www.goodtherapy.org/
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
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