Maybe you’re not ready for marriage. No matter how much you love each other, it just might be too soon. Marriage is a serious step. It requires dedication and communication skills that most people don’ t have.
That is why there are so many divorces. It’s truly a sad situation when marriages fall apart because marriage was designed to bring two people together for life. But while some are prepared, there are others who are not ready for marriage, and they should wait.
What does marriage mean to you?
I guess marriage means different things to various people. I am sure each marriage has a particular way of operation. If these ways are mutual, you have a well-balanced and happy marriage. Unfortunately, some marriages aren’t as compatible as they were supposed to be, and this sometimes leads to an end.
How you know that you’re not ready for marriage
1. When there’s no trust
If you’re dating and still haven’t been able to trust each other, then you definitely shouldn’t get married. Getting married will not magically bring trust into the union. Getting married is when you already basically trust each other’s integrity enough to know that things will work out.
2. When there’s pressure
If one of you is pressuring the other to get married, but the other just isn’t ready yet, then you shouldn’t do it. You don’t tie the knot by pressuring each other into an arrangement like this. If you’re not really ready for marriage, then you should keep dating a while longer and make sure you are compatible and realize other important aspects first.
3. There’s no chemistry
I really don’t understand why anyone would want to get married to someone when there’s no chemistry. If there is no sexual desire, but you think he’s a really good guy who would make a good husband, then maybe he’s meant to be someone else’s husband. It’s best to have some chemistry before marrying someone.
4. If someone is mentally unhealthy
It’s best to wait if your girlfriend or boyfriend is battling mental illness. You need to understand the full spectrum of what they’re going through and whether or not you can handle the pressure it takes to support them. Some people are just not cut out to help those with mental illness and will grow to resent them.
Also, those with mental illness need time alone to process what they’re going through and get the help that’s needed before involving anyone else.
5. If you’re keeping secrets
When you plan to marry, there shouldn’t be any major secrets kept from each other. Remember, you are going to be one, in the spiritual sense, and secrets kept from each other will ruin trust when the secrets come out. Believe me, they will eventually come out.
When they do, you may already be married and faced with trying to sort out whether you can deal with these things.
6. Differences in morals and beliefs
Yes, it’s possible to marry within different belief systems, but it’s not recommended. What’s more, than that is entering a marriage with vastly different morals and standards. It may seem okay at first, but over time, every suggestion that goes against your morals will wear you down and make you dislike your partner. Maybe you’re not ready to get married if you have such differences.
7. If you’ve only dated two years or less
If you make it beyond the two-year mark, then go ahead, you should know what you need to in order to marry. However, getting married in the first year is a big no-no, because you are still in that infatuation stage. Year two will show you what you’re really dealing with and it will take the whole year to decide if you can live with those things. I think after three years, and you’ve gotten along pretty well, you should be okay to make that leap.
8. You see potential/not reality
Marrying someone who can become an amazing person is not a good reason. It is a terrible one. You are not ready to get married if you are thinking this way. If they are unfaithful before marriage, they will still be that way afterward. If they aren’t financially stable, they will make the same mistakes after the ring is on the finger. Maybe they will get better, but you aren’t marrying them to be their teacher or mother. So many women do this. Men do it too.
9. If you secretly want an open marriage
Don’t you dare propose to your fiancée without telling them that you prefer an open marriage? This is unfair. If you keep this desire a secret until after marriage, and your partner is against it, then you have a mess that will destroy your marriage.
If one partner believes in monogamy, while the other thinks polygamy is the way to go, things will not work out.
10. The same argument keeps resurfacing
If you cannot find a solution for some of the same arguments, then maybe you’ve reached an impasse. This is usually called irreconcilable differences during divorce proceedings. Every time you talk about the subject, an argument starts because you do not agree with each other.
You should definitely put a halt on marriage if such a thing is happening, at least until you can come to an agreement. Otherwise, you know what you should do.
When it’s just not the right time
Marriage sounds so beautiful, doesn’t it? If you watch romance movies or Disney movies, marriage looks like the most wonderful thing that could ever happen to a person. However, marriage isn’t that fantasy in real life. In real life marriage is hard sometimes, takes dedicated love and trust, and it takes a lifelong commitment.
I urge you to think long and hard before deciding to marry. I’ve been there three times already, so I’ve learned quite a bit. Take your time, maybe you’re not ready to get married yet.
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